How To Get Secret (Legal) Revenge

Painting "Die Rache" (The Revenge) by Jakob Emanuel Gaisser
Painting “Die Rache” (The Revenge) by Jakob Emanuel Gaisser

Has anyone ever said something mean about you? Has anyone ever lied about you or spread a nasty rumor? Has someone ever told something truthful about you, but in a way that hurt you? Have you ever wanted to get back at them for it? Have you ever wanted revenge?

If you answered ‘No’ then you’re lying because everyone has wanted (or currently wants) to get back at someone. I suppose it’s part of our nature as humans.

The problem is this: How do you get back at someone who has hurt you? You can’t do the same thing to them—because that would just bring you down to their level. You can’t teach your family and friends to hate them—because that could just escalate into a West Side Story situation (and nobody has the time to learn the choreography). You can’t use a Voodoo doll against them—because the only ones that work are buried deep inside the Temple of Doom. And you obviously can’t stab them or anything—because that’s illegal, immoral, and apparently very messy.

Never fear! I know a great way to get secret and perfectly legal revenge—and it will positively DESTROY your enemies.

This process of revenge comes in three simple steps (no money, batteries, or assembly required):

1) Sincerely Consider What They Said – Honestly ask yourself if there is any validity to what they said. Was their criticism warranted? Did you do something mean to someone else? Is there something in your life that you need to improve? Do you need to right a wrong? Ask yourself these questions then quickly (and quietly) make any necessary adjustments. Once you do that, you will have successfully removed any possible justification for that person to continue saying those things (it’s a real thunder-stealer).

2) Prove Them Wrong – This is my favorite of the three steps. They say you’re overweight? Train for a race and prove them wrong. They say you’re stupid? Get a scholarship and prove them wrong. They say that you’re mean? Be sincerely kind to everyone you meet—and prove them wrong. If someone says something about you that is cruel and untrue, then prove them absolutely and totally wrong by the things you do.

3) Befriend Them – This is the sweetest part of your revenge. Abraham Lincoln is credited with saying “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” President Lincoln, had, I think, more enemies than most. In fact, he was probably one of the most hated men of his time. Not only was he despised by the Southern States, but he was also vehemently opposed and challenged by citizens in the North, by members of his own party, and by members of his own cabinet. And yet, toward the end of the Civil War—a war that cost America over 600,000 lives— this same man had the audacity to preach total forgiveness and fraternity by saying “With malice toward none, with charity for all.” Had he preached retribution instead of reconciliation, the United States probably wouldn’t be as united as it is today. Lincoln knew that the prosperity of his war-torn nation depended upon forgiveness and friendship.

In like manner, our prosperity depends upon our ability to forgive and friendship each other. If you want true revenge, correct any wrongs you might have committed, prove your enemies wrong with your kindness, and “destroy” them with your friendship.

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  1. Very nicely written… Thankyou… And we can also understand that their words mostly come from a place ‘about themself’ that they are projecting on someone else… To make them feel better instead of focusing on themself and improving themself… And we do the same when we unconsciously hurt others with our words… Take care Barbara