What do you do when a loved one commits suicide? What do you do? How do you pick up the pieces? How do you recover? How do you make sense of it all? If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one, author and speaker, Ganel-Lyn Condie, has some heartfelt advice.
When A Loved One Commits Suicide
When Ganel-Lyn learned about her sister’s suicide, she said it felt “like a bowling ball smashed into my heart, then fell with a thud to my stomach.” She says that the grief caused by suicide is “a different kind of grief.” It lingers, tears at the heart, and creates questions that lead to a very dark place.
And yet, in the time since her sister’s suicide, Ganel-Lyn has learned some powerful insights about healing and moving forward. While there are no quick remedies for grief, it is Ganel-Lyn’s firm belief “that hope is never lost.”
Ganel-Lyn Condie is the author of I Can Do Hard Things With God, and devotes much of her time to speaking and writing about hope. She and I connected through an article she had written last year (4 Lessons of Hope I Learned From My Sister’s Suicide) and we quickly became friends. Her insights about having faith and hope amid life’s challenges are incredible, to say the least. In the summer of 2015, I drove 12 hours (through the night) just to interview her—and I’m so grateful I did.
Below is a portion of my interview with Ganel-Lyn. If you are struggling with grief related to suicide, please take the time to watch this video. As someone who has struggled with feelings of hopelessness, I found a lot of comfort in the words of Ganel-Lyn.
Such important thoughts expressed so beautifully by this big sister.
The heaviness of depression can only be understood by those who struggle with it. In mourning her sister, she had her own opportunity to feel the same. “Crying, frustrated, life felt heavy – I didn’t know what was wrong with me,” she cried to a friend. Now, imagine feeling this way EVERY day, or continuously for long periods of time, with no relief. This is the best way I know to describe what “depression” actually is.
I do love that she stated, “Hope is never lost. We need to stay in these bodies, and do the work we’re here to do.”
I saw this same determination reflected in President Packer, whose body was so blown up by steroids that he could barely speak in conference, slurring his words of prophetic counsel to us; yet who truly endured to the end.
I see it in Elder Hales and the surgeries and pain he’s gone through, yet how he remains faithful still.
I am seeing it currently in President Monson, who with dignity accepted help leaving the podium to return to his seat the last time he spoke to us.
Having a body is not for sissies. Going through the heartaches and vicissitudes inherent in earth life requires great strength; superhuman strength at times. Which is why we have the Lord to lean on; again and again and again. As often as we need to; and He never considers us a burden.